Fashion Friday: We Simply Must Address Swimwear

It's just hot. It is. And I'm going to the beach. I am. We simply must address swimwear.

Should I buy this cover-up? I know I swore off Athleta after they were bought by the Gap or sold out to The Man as it were, but it is pretty cute. I guess I could make an exception. I like the whole crochet thing. Kind of bohemian. Doesn't totally negate the swimsuit. I'll probably go with the blue or brown.

Or maybe what I need is a HAZMAT jumpsuit. Is that leak plugged yet?

Finding a new swimsuit will be harder. I like the tankini idea. They can be challenging though. In order to avoid looking doughty in one you must choose the print very carefully and you absolutely must pair it with a teeny tiny bottom which, unfortunately, requires a teeny tiny bottom. This is cute from Athleta, especially the back. Oh, look at this- not a tankini but sporty. Great with board shorts. Hey, madras. Look, this one is reversible. Maybe this is the kind of thing a girl needs to plan for before Memorial Day Weekend.

While I was poking around I discovered that J. Crew got all crazy and decided they'd try to sell us swimsuit bottoms that look like diapers. Oh, gosh, here's another one. I have no idea what that's about. They're usually so reliable. In addition to avoiding anything that suggests you have bladder control issues, I'd also discourage anyone from wearing a bandeau top. Under any circumstances. Ever. Look, even the Victoria's Secret girls get pancake boob in a bandeau top. It's tricky business, ladies. Landmines everywhere.

To be honest, I'm not sure when I'll be able to actually buy that Athleta cover-up or anything else anyway. You may have noticed it's kind of pricey and guess who's reviewing the monthly budget right now? It's very uncomfortable. I'm being questioned about certain debits from the account. Isn't there somewhere else I need to be? I'm sure I have an urgent appointment.

I'm not even a big shopper. The problem is my husband doesn't always pay attention to what I'm doing and that creates unnecessary stress for us both. For example, he'll see me come home with a bag from the Nordstrom and ask me what I bought. Then he'll see me in the super cute new top from the Nordstrom and ask if it's new. Finally, he'll look through our account at the end of the month and notice the Nordstrom charge. So he basically experiences the same purchase like three different times. Married life is tricky business.