I've got to go in to work early tomorrow and I've got class tomorrow night so let's get after this.
Audrina & Tony
She's promising. It helps to be all super cute with a hot bod... In all things, not just dancing.
Kurt & Anna
Why are all athletes stiff and hunched over? But he's very professional and he knew all of his steps so good for him. I have to say, though, that I absolutely will not tolerate him running over to kiss his wife after every dance. It's just dancing, Kurt. No one thinks you don't totally still love her. Puke.
Kyle & Lacey
I thought I'd hate this with the costumey costumes and props, etc. You know me. I'm just like Len. We're sticklers. But who wasn't charmed by that fella? Sure it wasn't super ballroomy, but close enough for week one. And Big Man wasn't even winded at the end. Impressive.
Rick & Cheryl
I was distracted by the stupid height differential. Then I fell asleep because could Rick Fox dance any slower? Holy cow. And apparently Carrie Ann needs to get laid because what was all of that carrying on at the end? Embarrassing.
Margaret & Louis
What the fuck are they doing? Stop! And, shockingly, it looks like she has some potential if she'll stop screwing around and try.
Brandy & Maks
Oh, Maks. It's been too long. They should win unless something goes wrong. Being the front runner is a real challenge on this show. The judges don't hold everyone to the same standards.
Bristol & Mark
Bristol says she doesn't want to embarrass her mom. A) Wasn't she, like, pregnant at the Republican National Convention? and B) Please. OK, let's put that all behind us. I'm leery of gimmicky moves like break away costumes, but she's much better than I was expecting. Isn't there something pretty about the feet? Good for her.
Florence & Corky
So cute. Isn't she sassy? She should stay just for lifting her shirt.
Michael & Chelsie
This isn't going to work
The Situation & Karina
I can't believe I'm actually referring to this guy as The Situation. I've got to admit he's not the crass, off-putting character I was expecting. But only five days of practice. That's stupid. Could they get no one else? Still, here we are. I'm willing to see where this leads.
David & Kym
Oh, yes! Does he know where he is? This is fantastic. Look at him singing along, sex bomb, sex bomb. What is this crazy song? Oh, no, oh, here come the pelvic thrusts. Oh, god, please make it stop. Kurt Warner must be having a fit. Someone tell The Hoff he's worked with Brooke Burke before. He appears not to recognize her.
Jennifer & Derek
I can't take this drama. Why all the crying? When she made that stupid (OK, awesome) movie like 25ish years ago she couldn't even stand Patrick Swayze and now here we are with the water works. This is crazy. Kathy is urging me to show some compassion. Not really my strength, but OK. She does have a very pretty frame. And she's all flowy and dancery. Fine. Fine, Jennifer Grey. You win. Good job.
I'm guessing Michael Bolton gets voted off tomorrow. Because he's not good. And who's going to vote for him beside Nicolette Sheridan and Ashley Judd? He just doesn't make a very compelling case for himself.
That's all I have to give. I've got to get to bed. I'm still not sleeping, but now I've got this job where you've got to be on time. It's crazy.
Goodnight.
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