Crazy in Torrington

I woke up this morning, went downstairs, grabbed a cup of coffee, and turned on the local news. The big lead story was preceded by a warning. We do want to warn you, what you're about to hear may startle you.

Well, that's not real hard to do at six o'clock in the morning, but, OK, bring it.

A woman in Torrington took her children to a Wendy's. The Kid's Meal she ordered for them came with a CD, Karaoke Disco Fever. One of the songs on the CD was Donna Summer's Last Dance. But there was a problem. The lyrics had been switched up. Here the reporter issued a second warning. The word may be offensive and, if you have children around, you might want to put them in another room. Instead of 'cause when I'm bad I'm so so bad, this woman heard 'cause when I'm bad I'm so so horny.

I'm sorry, what?

They played the offending clip from the song. Y'all, girlfriend is crazy. It was the same old Donna Summer song we've suffered through a million times before. Not that the reporter bothered to grab a clip from the original to compare it to what was on the CD, but trust me. Donna Summer is bad. She's so, so bad.

I mean, seriously, some random chick is freaked out because she thinks her kids heard the word horny and that's news? They devoted three minutes to this story. Obama visiting Louisiana only got one.

I don't really shield Lauren from very much, especially not language. I'm more worried about sex, violence, fast food, and disco. I don't frame words as good or bad. There are just words and there is a time and place for all of them. I know that's kind of vague for a six year old. They tend to like rules hard and fast, but I do the best I can. Don't worry too much about it, I've told her. Just say what's on your mind and, if you're being inappropriate or vulgar, I'll let you know. Eventually you'll be able to decide for yourself what's OK.

When will that be exactly? Probably in High School. That's my default answer pretty much whenever she wants to know when she'll be able to do something. She has a lot to look forward to in her High School years. So far the list includes driving, drinking coffee, having boobs, and, now, the ability to discern the appropriateness of word choice. Compared to all that, the prom is going to seem like just another Saturday night.