I don't know how you feel about Cindy Crawford, but I really like her. Despite the whole Super Model thing, I think she's the kind of gal you could hang out with without feeling bad about yourself. I trust her and I know lots of other people do, too. As evidence, let me tell you that after she was on Oprah sharing her favorite things, I may have swung by the grocery store to pick up her favorite Twinings Decaf English Breakfast Tea and discovered there was only like one-ish boxes left. Because everyone else swung by the grocery store to do the same thing. I'm also an avid viewer of her Meaningful Beauty infomercial and am very hopeful that mellon extract could change my life. But I'm not going to buy any of it unless they start selling it at Sephora or Target or any other real store.
So when I sat down Friday night to watch the Daily Ten and was promised Cindy Crawford's dieting secrets, I was rapt with anticipation. Because surely that awesome body isn't the result of good genes, right? I mean, this is allegedly a meritocracy we're living in. We achieve things through sheer force of will. Or will of force. Whatever. I'm not what you'd call a "high achiever" so I don't know for sure. So approximately 27 minutes later (No, Sal Masekela, don't worry about it. I've got noting but time.)I found out this is what she eats:
Oatmeal with blueberries for breakfast.
Salad with chicken or shrimp for lunch.
Fish and vegetables for dinner.
And she works out three or four times a week.
And I believe all of it because it was on the E channel. Plus it totally makes sense. So, even though we generally rock a vegetarian vibe around here and I shy away from subjecting myself to mercury poisoning, I stocked up on Cindy essentials. It's going OK so far. I mean, this morning, for example, I ate about fifteen Oreos for breakfast. But that's not terrible, right? When Cindy was on Oprah she named strawberry rhubarb pie as one of her favorite things. Are you going to try to convince me she's never whipped that out in the a.m.? No, you are not. OK, maybe you are.
As a special bonus, I also learned some great Tracy Anderson exercises on E. Real, comprehensible exercises to Michelle Obamafy my arms. They're nothing crazy like the stuff Tracy does for Gwyneth on Gwyneth's GOOP site, which makes you feel like you're being punked. I'd even try to describe these super promising E exercises to you, but if I told you that you just basically reach one arm up in the air, pull it back down into a v shape by your side, then simulate a hugging motion, you'd wonder why I couldn't come up with that on my own. And that would be embarrassing. Although probably no more embarrassing that the whole Oreo situation.
