That wasn't even a Foxtrot she was doing. It was another one of her heavy, plodding, zombie walks. And the fake smile. I can't take the fake smile. Or the fake teeth, tan, and hair. But I especially can't deal with the fake effort. She says she loves it and that she's trying real hard, but she's deluding herself because all I ever see is her whining and complaining. And fake smiling. While standing still.
I need to try praying again. I seriously need to be delivered from this critical spirit.
Here's the other main take away from this week's episode. Maks and Erin are so in love. It's my favorite part of the whole show. Do you see how when they stand together he just kind of rubs her? That's proof. It's a genuine science fact that when someone has his arm around you and starts casually rubbing your bare tummy and the expression on your face doesn't even change, it means his hand has been on your tummy many times before. And you like it. It means you're in love.
Speaking of love and tummies, my husband told me last night that I should maybe lay off the bread. I'm guessing that's a conversation Maks and Erin will never have.
Niecy & Louie
Finally we're back to the old Niecy! She was happy and sassy and man did she ever keep that fringe swinging. Sure, she could have had crisper movements- the Jive really requires that. And she never actually left the ground on those hoppy kick things (I should really ask Schmathy what these moves are called), but who cares? Fantastic.
Chad & Cheryl
It took forever for them to get into a closed position and there was no body contact and the arms were all floppy, but the energy was high and I enjoyed it. Charm goes a long way in the ballroom.
Erin & Maks
"I need to be in charge 100% and you need to do what I say." Is it just me, or does he make you feel all kinds of dirty, too? Good dirty. Holy Toledo. I think I need a minute. Wow. OK. The only thing is, regarding the actual dance, I can't take the props. I can't handle all the tables and chairs and menus, but Mr. Blyleaf said they were doing a spot on reenactment of Pulp Fiction. I've never seen that movie so it was all lost on me. I just know that Maks is hot and Erin looked like she was struggling to keep up with him. She looked a little stressed out. Maybe they'll get a slower dance next week.
Jake & Chelsie
Too much ego not enough technique.
Pamela & Damien
Again with the table and chairs, but at least they went flipping over the top of them all acrobat style. I can't believe how good she is. It was a real genuine Quickstep. (FYI- Quickstep is my favorite ballroom dance. In the Latin division, I love the Samba. I'd kick ass at the Samba. Except I probably wouldn't.) It was fast and crisp and intricate. I loved it.
Kate & Tony
Bruno said it best. She's catatonic.
Nicole & Derek
Well, obviously they're always the best or second best, but I didn't get the whole perfect thing. Maybe I was distracted by her severe hair and all the red.
Evan & Anna
I admire his focus and discipline so much. I've got neither. I noticed Evan was in Warrior II an awful lot which I guess is fine. I had sort of begun to lose interest by the time Nicole and Derek came on. I would imagine that has become fairly obvious to you.
Did I get everybody? I don't even know.
So, enough about them, let's talk about me. I have been in such a state and I feel compelled to share it with the Internets.
It's like a ferocious little badger is curled up around my head. I think it started last Thursday-ish. I was congested and I had all of this pressure in my head. At first, I thought I was catching cold. It was just a little irritating. But Saturday brought with it an intense headache just above my right eye, and also sort of behind it, that won't go away. Since Saturday. You can imagine it's got me all kinds of unpleasant. I don't think it's a migraine because I have a very blue collar heritage so migraines would be at odds with that identity. But I am open to sinus issues. Sinus issues aren't too fancy. And sinus issues don't suggest there are things in my life I'm unwilling to deal with. Whereas migraines often mean you're feeling stifled by your country club lifestyle, but don't see any way out. Maybe. I don't know. I'm not really a doctor. And I don't belong to a country club.
Well, whatever it is, I've got to snap out of it because it's vacation week and I've got a kindergartner to entertain. She's going to spend a few days with my mother at the end of the week, but, in the mean time, I think I should give her something to brag about in circle time. I'll never be able to top February vacation, of course. For February vacation we went to Cabela's. I'm not even kidding. She loved it. I don't know what people are thinking jumping on planes and heading off to Disney, when in a magical land called East Hartford, we've got what is essentially a free amusement park. Except without all of the filthy unsafe rides that I wouldn't let her go on anyway.
Here she is in front of some stuffed bears.
They've got a whole mountain full of taxidermied animals, a separate display of dead stuffed animals indigenous to Connecticut, an aquarium, giant stairs to walk up and down endlessly, clothes, food, and video games. But I didn't let her play any video games. They were all very gun-centric and, while I'm all for sustenance hunting, I'm a little queasy about gleefully pretending to shoot things for the bloodthirsty fun of it.
Then we went out to lunch.
She thought it was The Best Day Ever!
In TV news, you should know that I'm completely off Amazing Race and American Idol. I have been for some time. I am watching Parenthood. It's real good. They've moved past the darkness that was present early on. Who is the set decorator on that show? It's fantastic. I love the kitchens. They're cluttered with small appliances and dishes that haven't been put away and other real life stuff. The kitchen that belongs to the guy from Dirty, Sexy, Money and his wife is my favorite. I love a black and white floor and big island. Their island is gray where I'd go for a more industrial looking stainless steel type of surface, but that's minor. I'd swap kitchens with them in a heartbeat. I also love that the houses on this show have art on the walls that I'm just crazy about. Not that other sets don't have wall art, but there is something authentic about the choices being made here. I can't quite put my finger on it. Another show that's fantastic for art is Modern Family- especially the house that belongs to Phil and Julie Whatshername from Ed. The only kind of odd thing is the Modern Family people constantly swap their art out. Every week there are new pieces. I drive Mr. Blyleaf crazy because I'm always grabbing the remote to pause on a painting. I do that when we watch movies, too.
I don't know. Maybe he should eat a piece of bread and let me have my fun.
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