DWTS: So Long Buzz

This week the judges wanted the couples to tell a story through their dances. Great. Bring out the props.

Evan & Anna
They did a Quickstep that depicted an irritated husband waiting for his wife, who is running late. If you could get past all the foot tapping and the checking of the watch, it was terrific. Evan did look like he was working hard to keep up and he's still not pointing his feet, but who cares. They are so great together. Evan actually kind of reminded me of Jimmy Stewart at the school dance in the gym scene from It's a Wonderful Life. So much fun. FYI- that movie also has the most romantic scene in all of cinema. Oh, my- when George visits Mary who is home on break from college and Sam Wainwright calls and they listen together on the phone. The silence and the tension. Yikes! And he grabs her and tells her how he doesn't want to get married, only he totally does. Holy Toledo.

What am I talking about?

Buzz & Ashly
The pink shrug Ashly had on in rehearsal was super cute. That's the best I can do. Thank goodness it's over.

Jake & Chelsie
I can't get past the personal with these two. During one of his temper tantrums, Jake actually said to Chelsie, "Sometimes when you talk to me, you're just very, very disrespectful." What? Is he kidding? What a jerk. I can't even handle him. And what's with all that vigorous nodding when they got their scores? They're judges, Jake. They don't need your approval. You're getting whatever they give you whether you agree or not. I hope he gets voted off next. Even though he totally won't because he's not half bad in the dance department. Jerk.

Niecy & Louie
I wasn't expecting social commentary on DWTS, but OK. It may have been a little much. Not for me- for them. Oh, the crying! No one likes sad dancing. And the actual Waltz was pretty bad. Niecy was heavy and plodding. I thought she might fall down in spots.

Chad & Cheryl
The best thing about their Paso Doble- and you should know, I'm not really a fan of this dance. I think it's hokey- was Chad mouthing "call me" while they waited for their scores. He didn't encourage us to just "call." He didn't hold up one or two fingers or whatever to encourage us to call their own special number. No. Chad was all "call me." I love him so much. And he was way less hunched over this week.

Pamela & Damien
One just never knows when Charro is going to turn up. She must be about three hundred years old by now. Good for her. She looks terrific. Full of energy. But the dancing. I'm afraid all I saw in Pam & Damien's whole animal activist confronts the bullfighter routine was crazy angriness. She was whirling around like a total nut.

Oh, gosh. I need to step on it. I've got a zillion things to do.

Aiden & Edyta
Stiff and creepy. But this could be a transition week for Aiden. He got the crap beat out of him and has been appropriately humbled. One must come humbly to ballroom, no? Oh, but how about his grand pronouncement that the Quickstep is the hardest thing he's ever done. I'm sure his wife, who has just recently given birth, totally appreciated that. The Quickstep, yeah, that's hard.

Erin & Maks
They were the only ones who didn't lay out a specific narrative in the rehearsal tape. I'm thankful for that. Erin can get away with so much because she's so thin and tall and pretty. She'd look even better if she'd just keep her shoulders down. In yoga we do a move called Blade. Erin should check it out. It's magical. Also magical- Maks. Did you see him in that group dance with the unbuttoned shirt and jeans? Kill me.

Kate & Tony
Poor Tony. As far as I could tell, this was just a bunch of walking around- only in a weird stomping Godzillaish way. Every once in a while she did throw a big heavy leg up in the air. But mostly she stomped about with poor Tony dragging her occasionally. And all that talk about the paparazzi. Give me a break. It must be so hard to be the mega super star Kate is. I can't take it. Pain and insecurity. It's all I see when I look at her. You can't spray tan over that. She needs Beth Moore's new book.

Nicole & Derek
Too MGM Musicalish for me, but everyone knows they're the best. Oh, and Derek in the Paso Doble with whomever they paired him up with- I can't remember now. So amazing! He may be a better dancer than Maks. Yes. I think he may be. Masterful, I tell you! That little fella is masterful.

OK, I'm totally running late now. That'll have to be it. Better than nothing? No, probably not.